What it really means to disciple your children

What does it mean to disciple your children? Not to be confused with discipline, discipling a child is so much more. To disciple your child is to teach, to live your own teachings, and show by example how to implement and execute a life grounded in those values.

What does it mean to disciple someone?

The word “disciple” means a follower, student, or a learner; someone who gives full loyalty to another. Oh but discipleship is so much more than simply teaching literature, history, or math. A disciple is someone who mimics the teacher’s life, adopts their values, and reproduces the teachings. To disciple someone or your child is to teach the Word of God. More importantly, it is to live the written Word of God in such a way that makes the person desire to imitate your life, adopt your values, and believe in it so much that they will continue to spread the gospel.

Dare to Disciple your children!

One of the hardest parts of having children is seeing their misbehavior and realizing that you have no one else to blame, but yourself for teaching them the poor habit. These are things like temper, coping methods, negativity, complaining, and the list goes on. Our walk with God is not easy, and on our best days, our righteousness is filthy rags before the Lord. (Isaiah 64:6 KJV)

We are not here to teach our children to be robots and do exactly what we say, when we say it without question. It is extremely difficult to teach someone to choose what is right and good when you, yourself, fail to do just that daily. That’s the very reason we need to DARE to disciple. It is not easy. But it is worth it!

Live in a way that shows them that even when it gets hard, we worship. Even when we don’t feel like it, we praise. Even if we don’t want to, we go to church and serve one another. Live so that they see that we do not follow Christ so that we do not fail; Show them, by example, that we follow Christ because we fail. That is what it means to disciple your children.

Someone is discipling your children. Is it you?

Someone is going to teach your children what is right and what is wrong. Are you living and teaching them the Word of God? Are you having the hard conversations? Because, trust me, if you aren’t, someone else is.

I am a criminal justice major and in my “gangs” course in college we learned that the children of gang members recruit their friends into the gangs. Their parents teach them the lifestyle and then send them to school to introduce their friends to it. I am not referring to high school students by the way. There were police photos of intercepted notes in elementary school!

How do you think those children learned it? Discipleship. Their parents teach it, live it, promote it, and encourage it. They are surrounded and saturated by it at home.

• The average child begins to experiment with drugs between 13-14 years old.
• The average child is exposed to pornography between the ages of 8-12 years old.
• The average boy has had his first alcoholic drink by age 11, and girls claim they’ve had theirs by 13

If you do not dare to disciple your children, who else will?

The Lord has entrusted you with his most precious gifts! It is your assigned responsibility as a parent to teach God’s Word. Teach it, live it, surround them with it, promote it, and encourage it!

How to disciple your children

Disciple where you are

Maybe it is not true for you, but in my home, I am the chef, chauffeur, maid, teacher, nurse, event planner…and the list goes on! Homemaking is a revolving list of repetitive work that always requires our attention and maintenance. The Lord is fully aware of what it means to be busy homemakers. God still meets us where we are.

I cannot tell you how many times the Lord has met me while putting my children’s laundry in, or how my daughter and I worship as we wash a load of dishes. God has graced us with His presence while vacuuming, picking up toys, and cleaning toilets. In Deuteronomy, we learn that this is exactly when and how we are told to disciple our children!

The Lord is saying “I know you’re busy, daughter, I know the demands of the home are never ending and repetitive, but this is where I will shine the brightest.” This is precisely where God is requiring our obedience and where He will bless it for years and generations to come.

“And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

We are called to teach our children diligently as we come and go completing our many tasks throughout the day. In the mundane, nitty gritty, busyness of life is where we will teach our children obedience, work ethic, discipline, priorities, service to one another, and so much more. In order to accomplish this, there is a very important prerequisite mentioned here.

He is your God before He can be their God

First, before you can ever disciple your children, He must first reside in your heart! Verse 5 says “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might”. God needs to be in your heart you need to seek Him with ALL of you before He can ever overflow into your children.

If you are not saved and love the Lord yourself, then do not expect your children to do so. They will listen to you and do as you say, but it will not truly touch their hearts. If you are trying to teach them to live for Christ, but you are living for the world, then when they can make their own choices, they will also choose the world.

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Matthew 6:24 KJV

So what does it mean to disciple your children? It means to live it first, then to teach them to live it. They are seeing what you do, what you prioritize, does your faith waver, how you love, how you speak, how you make the choices you make. THAT is the behavior they will repeat.

Seek Him early, seek Him first

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, “

We need to spend time with the Lord first! We need to prioritize God and put him first in our own lives. When we seek the Lord and get fed, then we have a word to feed to our children. When we read His word to fill ourselves, THAT is what He is telling us to teach our children as we go.

He must first fill your vessel so that you can then fill your children’s vessels. You must first get a word from God so you can then give that word to your children.